Charles Bukowski, April 16, 1965
My knee feels great, that's because I am not running. I forget that I am injured and ask ,"how come I'm not out running the South Farms?" Then I remember, get depressed, so jump on my bike and pedal as hard as I can until my running angst dissipates a bit. Yeah, being injured sucks big time donkey scrotum....
Biking is alright, but I never get that odd feeling of euphoria and exhaustion which is unique to running. Part of the problem is the upper body is just hanging on for life as the legs pump and churn. Today as I rode loops around the cemetery my toes never got warm and so I had to deal with the discomfort of frozen feet. Well, it's better than sitting around the house reading Bukowski in the cold afternoon light.
I am not sure when I want to try running again. It seems when I run it puts my knee back to square one. In moments of despair I think maybe I tore my cartilage in two and I will never run again. Today that thought occurred while I was pedaling up the cemetery hill, and then an image of George Bush riding his bike filtered slowly through the latticework of my brain. That depressed me beyond belief....
Then I get an email this afternoon from the race director of Clinton Lake, saying he hopes that everyone's training is going well. I stopped reading after that sentence.
I checked the little sidebar thingy on my blog and there are only 25 days remaining until Clinton Lake. I am so stubborn that I am still holding out hope that I will be at the start line dressed in black - NB 790's, Farmdale shirt, and Nike Shorts.
Daydream in Red & Black
2 nights ago I dreamed I was running a city marathon. I was in awesome shape, running fast, not feeling tired. The course was interesting and fun, a 2 mile loop, and at the start/finish a large portable staircase which needed to be climbed/descended after each loop. My favorite part of the dream was when I stopped at a corner grocery and ordered an horchata. I was in a hurry and told the owner that I would be back in 15 minutes to pick it up :)My mind is getting into funky moods without running, as illustrated by today's picture :
and umm, some popcorn, please, to go with the honey :
2 comments:
When you ride your bike, I assume you don't feel any pain in your injured knee/hip? That means no torn cartilage I hope. Dig the photos/blogs/music...but I hope to see some running someday again.
I checked out Ben Bedford on Myspace. He's a true talent. I love how literal his lyrics are; real stories and such a clear vocal delivery. Looks like he's getting some broad recognition too. Hope he passes through here on his western tour. Making a living as a singer/songwriter is a monumental challenge, even for the talented. I imagine your appreciation of what he does means a lot to him.
Hope all is well and your leg heals soon!
JD, thanks for the comment.
Biking is pain free, so I think my knee is ok, I am just starting to overreact from having to miss over a month of running. The depression is starting to set in, so I need to hang in there and look for ways to feel good.
I hope you get a chance to see Ben if he heads out your way, he is a great performer.
Hope your running is going well, spring will be here soon!
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