Meditation VII-IX

Meditation VIII

Small Winter Day

"I write in the dark again,
rather by dusk-light,
and what I love about

this hour is the way the trees
are taken, one by one,
into the great wash of darkness.

At this hour I am always happy,
ready to be taken myself,
fully aware."
From Awakening VII, by Lucien Stryk

Tuesday was a day of rest - no exercising, no pictures.

Yesterday I had a good workout, ran 1.5 miles, walked 3 miles, and did 4 sets of strength exercises. I felt some tightness in the knee during the run, but nothing too bad. The tightness is the only problem I have. If I did not have it, I would be 100% healed, so I just need to find a way to cure it and I will back in business.

The one thing that is fascinating about being injured is observing how my spirit explores the problem, trying to find a solution. Yesterday while doing strength exercises at the arboretum I started running sideways, lifting the left leg, then pushing it left, followed by the right leg. After 30 meters I would reverse direction. This did not stress my legs or knee, so it was not an exercise which will help my problem.

I felt I was getting close, though, and as I was walking through the fields with Maggie, I started doing the sideways running a little differently. Instead of keeping my legs in a straight line, I would alternate bringing the right leg behind, and then in front of the left leg. I immediately felt the stress from this exercise, as it works the muscles/tendons which are directly related to the injury.

The main point of stress is in the vicinity of my right hip, and the tightness radiates down to the knee. When bringing my right leg behind the left, it stretches the muscle/tendon, and this causes the knee to tighten.

I am happy to have discovered this exercise, by practicing it the damaged leg will eventually repair itself if it wants to avoid pain.

Meditation is going well, I am taking it with me everywhere I go. It is good to practice it beyond the sitting cushion, but not easy.

Today Joseph came in to fix a shelf for Leona. I was the only one in the office, as Leona had a fearful visit with the doctor. Joseph was in a talking mood again, so he sat down on the floor, his back against the wall.

We discussed food.

"James, I spent $50-$60 this week on fruit."

I thought about this, then replied, "I went to Meijer and spent a similar amount on fruit. I have been eating a lot of star fruit lately."

"Star fruit is delicious."

"I hate driving to Meijer, it is too far to walk, but I love their produce, so I give in."

We are both vegetarians, and I asked him what he knew about Vitamin B12.

"I know about B-12, but I have not thought about it lately. I have been feeling really tired, though, but I decided it was the cold weather that was bringing me down."

"When I was 37 or 38 I experienced an energy crash that lasted for a couple of years. I thought it was caused by age, so learned to live with feeling down all the time. A couple of years ago I started to increase my iron intake, and that helped, but 6 months ago I read that vegetarians can't get enough B12 in their diet, so I started taking a supplement. Soon after I felt a boost in my energy. Rachel thinks it's all in my head, but I don't care because I am feeling great."

"Our mind has as much influence on our health as our body, " and so on....


During the conversation I wasn't doing well with my breathing, and I consequently felt a bit edgy. This hindered the ease of the conversation because I was fidgeting in my chair. I did not have time to sit in meditation before I went in to work, this no doubt played a part in my not being able to focus and relax. I have to remember how important it is to sit everyday.

Yesterday as I was walking through Lincoln Square one of the senior mall walkers was startled by my presence and made a frightened gesture and funny noise. Normally this kind of response would have thrown me off balance, but as I was focused on my breath her actions did nothing to my composure and stride. I walked on completely aware of my breath and surroundings. I felt good about this, because when I get into such a state, where external circumstances don't take me out of myself, I can no longer be swayed to and fro like a leaf in the wind.

Now that everything is slowing down for me, I am startled at how fast moving my life had become. While moving fast in a running race is a good thing, in day to day life it prevents me from enjoying the details of little and big things.

Food is an example. I was eating too quickly, and thus not enjoying the experience as much as I could have. This past week the simplest of foods have brought me immense pleasure. Feeling inspired, I have been creating new meals which have been delicious.

Yesterday I sauteed zucchini and mushrooms in olive oil, garlic, and salsa. I then placed the cooked food in a small bowl. I threw some parmesan and romano cheese on top of the hot food, then placed fresh cilantro atop the cheese. I covered the bowl for 5 minutes. When I uncovered the bowl the cheese had melted and the cilantro had become pleasantly warm and moist. I mixed everything together, and then savored each bite. A tasty snack!

I finished another watercolor painting yesterday. I printed out the first picture from the "Small Winter Day" series. I like the screen version, but this picture in particular was meant to be a painting.

I listed a few darkroom photographs on ebay, and on a whim 2 of my recent watercolor paintings. It is a lucky week because I have had several inquiries about the pictures, and already have a bid on one of the photographs.

If I can get back to selling 3 or 4 pictures a month, I can continue to work part time - let's do it!